Tuesday, November 19, 2013
I have been blessed with the gift of ADHD. I can work on 20 projects at one time, not drop the ball on a single one and get them all done within the deadline - and it usually doesn't phase me much. I can work with a cluttered desk and a cluttered mind. I don't function well with neat little piles and one thing to do. I love a good challenge.
Now if you give me one assignment and tell me you need it in a day - I will let it sit on my desk and wait until it is due and then get it done. I don't work well without chaos and pressure. I procrastinate. I get distracted by the cookies in the lunchroom. I do things like count how many cookies my coworkers are eating instead. I tell myself pressure is good. It's not. This may work ok on the job front ---- but it is dismal when it comes to healthy living.
I don't have patience to wait for results - I want to see them 5 minutes after I get off the treadmill. At most I will wait 30 days but man, if something doesn't change ---- why bother? I'm done. If the scale doesn't flash the number I want to see, if the tape measure doesn't say I lost a certain number of inches, if my too small pants aren't too big.... I'm sure it was a total waste of time.
I don't have patience to see all the positive little changes, like cutting back to one cola a day from 5 or making healthy choices MOST of the time, or parking way far from the door wherever I go to add steps to my daily routine, or skipping those office treats most of the time ---- if there are no results right now, I'm sure it isn't working. If I fail just once, I'm sure it will NEVER work! I KNOW that is not true, but that is the way I think.
I think I am a patient person. I AM a patient person - with others. Not with me though! Sooooooooo......
Just for today, the small changes I am making ARE enough. I did do some things right. I did a lot of things better than yesterday. That is forward progress. Forward progress IS ENOUGH. Screw the results in 5 minutes. It is enough that I DID those right things --- results or not.
Forward motion girl. Focus. Forward motion. There is NO destination, you will NEVER get there ---- there will always be choices to be made. Just face each one, one at a time making the best choice you can. That is all you should ask of yourself and you should be satisfied it is enough.
Got that Barb?
OK, got that. I am enough. I didn't blow it. In fact I did pretty good. One foot in front of the other, moving on......
PS --- Thank you God for the blue skies in sunshine today! It sure made my walk a lot more pleasant! I'm grateful!