I am here, in front of my laptop, baffled. But pleased!! I've now lost 4 pounds in two weeks (down five from my highest weight), and I'm wondering..how? When? What the heck!?!?!?

I don't FEEL like I'm doing anything different. As I go back over my logs, I realized:

1. I'm not snacking on chips and sweets like I was
2. I actually have walked a few times
3. Water is still a weak point, but I've had more than normal
4. I'm making more thoughtful choices when eating out

And the results are beginning to show. I'm still up from where I need to be, and definitely from where I want to be. Yet at the same time, I haven't seen a number this low on the scale in about a year or more.

I was just thinking..over the years, as the scale has jumped, I've made that okay. As the weight came on, it was usually about five pounds at a time. I would cry, freak awhile, and get over it and accept it. "It's okay this time, but NO MORE!!" Then next time would come, and the process would start all over again.

Now, I flip if the scale reads ONE pound more, but there is no acceptance. It's more of a stubborn challenge for me now. I'm not Sparking to keep the pounds off, but to keep the scale moving down.

Funny thing is..my hubby had a "serious talk" with me this weekend. He came out and said he knew I am not happy with the way I am now, and if I wanted to go on a program of some kind, as long as it is healthy and properly used, he would support it. Even if it was one of those "shake" diet deals. A few weeks ago I would have jumped on it.

Now....not so much. I'm losing on my own. The only thing those programs would do, is accelerate the weight loss. But, if I'm doing it on my own..no pills, no expensive payments, no powders, shakes, or depriving myself..then why would I change.

I responded to him with, "Thank you. It means a lot that you're behind me on this. But for right now, I have Sparks, at no cost, and I'm making progress. I'll keep your offer for the future, but for right now, I'm okay."

When did I get to the point where I had second thoughts about something like that?

I'm okay. I'm really, honestly okay.