Well I am counting today as day 2...Day 2 of taking my life back !

Today I wasn't home so I couldn't do I regular scheduled dvd workout like I had planned to but I knew that I couldn't use that as an excuse or I would get off track again. So I got my mom up and we went for a walk. Ended up doing 2 miles. Not fabulous but better then if I had stayed at her house and done nothing.

Eating today however wasn't great...had my shake for breakfast, a Cobb salad for lunch (which I didn't eat all of) and then we had Papa Murphy's pizza for dinner. While the pizza was thin crust and a veggie lovers...I know the cheese and creamy garlic sauce didn't help.

Today was I down day as far as my mood. I was told that a friend (who was pregnant at the same time as I was) just had her baby. I knew this day was coming....I kept thing WHY? Why didn't I get to keep my baby? What could I have done differently? Even tho I know the answer to that last question...today hurt. My heart is heavy and I feel so hopeless. Its weird at the same time because I KNOW that I am blessed. I have 4 beautiful girls and a loving husband who does so much for me. I honestly don't have reason to be down but I just can't help myself. Is it selfish? PErhaps. I just feel like the black hole that I find myself in is slowing shallowing me whole.