I am tired of feeling...tired, cranky, fat, disgusting, out of control and lazy!! I have tried many times in my life to get myself together and each time I hit a tiny bump in the road and let everything fall apart. I have so much anger at myself, fear also. Maintaining a healthy lifestyle is just one of the things in my life where I consistently fail. There are so many thing I want to do in life but when the hard work starts I just want to close my eyes and sleep. I have many excuses and very little action. I feel so lost, I do not know how to anchor myself and keep myself from drifting back into old habits.